#6 Summers with Grandparents

I know so far I have tried to do these in chronological order but that is ending with this post.  I had said before my top five posts would be my most favorite experiences of my top 30 (except of course for the Being Born a Ricks post, that also would be in my most favorite experiences, but it seemed better to start out my blog with that post.)   I had been contemplating what I wanted to do for my #6 post because I had one spot left and I was debating between a few different things until the other day when I realized that I forgot to include a VERY important childhood memory, the summers I spent with my grandparents.  When I realized that I had forgot that, I knew I would have to venture out of order a little early and go back to my childhood so that I could include these 2 wonderful summers in my top 30.  Quick disclaimer, all the pictures, except one, featured in this post are unfortunately not from either of those summers. All the old family albums are at my parents house, but I don't think there were a lot of pictures taken during those summers anyways.  So I used what I had to show off my wonderful grandparents. 

I've always lived far away from my grandparents.  My dad got transferred several times for work which took our family to Texas and then Ohio.  My dad's parents lived in Florida and my mom's parents lived in Alabama.  I loved my grandparents very much but I usually only got to see them two or three times a year so my time with them was always very special.  They both lived in pretty cool locations, my mom's parents lived in a house that was right on the Alabama River.  It was a beautiful house in a very picturesque setting. Their yard was always immaculate, filled with all kind of flowers and trees.  Plus there was the amazing view of the river.  In fact that's what we called it when we talked about going to see my grandparents, we'd say we're going to "the river."   My dad's parents lived about 30-40 minutes from the beach in Florida so it was always fun to get to go to the beach when we were visiting them. 

The summer after my third and fourth grade years I got to go spend a month visiting my grandparents.  The first summer I went I remember mom had asked me a few months before if I would like to go stay with my grandparents for awhile this summer.  She was organizing a mission trip to New Orleans for the youth group at our church  and she knew she'd be busy getting ready for that plus she would be gone for a week. So she asked me if I'd like to go stay with my grandparents for a few weeks.  I was a little nervous about being gone that long but I loved my grandparents and knew I would have fun.  Plus my brothers had both spent a summer visiting grandparents when they were 15 so I thought it was pretty cool that I would get to do it at 10!  We worked out the plans, my parents would take me down to Florida and I would stay with my dad's parents for about 3 weeks and my mom's parents for a week. (My mom's parents were a little older so that was why I didn't spend as long there, it would have been pretty tiring for them to have me there that long.) Then my mom would pick me up in Florida on her way back from Louisiana. The next summer I went back because I had so much the previous summer and my mom was helping with another mission trip, this time to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Grandma Ricks and I at my college graduation.

I had so much fun those two summers!  My Grandma Ricks and I were buddies and we had a blast together.  We would go shopping and have lunch out at Pizza Hut. (She always let me pick and I picked Pizza Hut a lot.)  I remember I introduced Grandma to the personal pan pizza, she had never had one before and she thought they were the best thing! I loved to read and my grandma would take me to bookstores and buy me all kind of books.   I really built up my collection of The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley Twins and Friends during those summers.  I remember when I finished my last one she would say, "You read all those books already??!! Guess we better go get you some more!"  I still remember how much fun it was for me to sit on the floor at the bookstore getting to go through all the books and see which ones I wanted.

My grandma was recently retired but still volunteered out at the Navy base, so I would go out there with her and "help". I remember us playing a lot of tic tac toe while we were doing that, I guess the volunteer job wasn't very demanding.  She'd also take me to the movies, we went to see several I think, but the one that stands out to me was "Straight Talk" with Dolly Parton.  We also spent quite a bit of time with my Great Aunt Althea and her granddaughters, Alex and Kris, were close to my age.  Aunt Althea had a swimming pool at her house so we went swimming a lot but I also remember going roller skating, well I don't think my Grandma roller skated but my cousins and I did.

Grandma Ricks also taught me how to make fried ocra.  She always made the best fried okra, we would slice it pretty thin and toss it in cornmeal, then fry it. It was so delicious and crispy! My Grandad Ricks really liked to have ice cream so we got to have that a lot for dessert.  My Grandad wasn't doing well during that time, I think it was the beginning of his Alzheimers, so he didn't go places with us, but we always had dinner together and it was fun getting to spend that time with him and my grandma.  They were always teasing each other about something, well he was teasing her, and she was usually scolding him because he forgot to put his teeth in.   He seemed to do just fine eating without them!  At the end of every day we would always stay up late and watch Crook and Chase on the Country Music Network, eat popcorn and drink coke.  Thinking about all this yummy food I ate makes me wonder if I didn't come home a few pounds heavier! Good thing I was young and had good metabolism.

Speaking (writing) of good food, my weeks with my mom's parents, who I call Grandmommy and Granddaddy, were also filled with great food.  My Grandmommy was a great cook.  She taught me how to make chocolate pie, which is still my all time favorite dessert.  When I spent the week each summer with Grandmommy and Granddaddy my cousin April would come as well.  There were 10 grandkids on that side of the family.  April and I were the two youngest and our birthdays were only 6 weeks a part so we always really enjoyed getting to be together.  I remember the four of us would play cards. At first we played rummy, but then they taught us how to play Canasta, which I don't remember how to play at all anymore but I do remember people were impressed that we learned how to play that so young.  I also remember it took a long time to play, but we were having fun so we didn't care. 

Kelly, April & I ( I failed at the cool look!.)

One of the summers must have been the summer of 92 because the Democrat National Convention was on and I remember watching it.   My oldest cousin Kelly was there for a few days with her boyfriend Matt (now husband).   I remember Kelly taught me how to shuffle cards (using the "riffle  shuffle", I use to call it the bridge shuffle, but I just looked it up and its called the riffle).  If you read this Kelly, I just want to thank you for teaching me that skill.  I've used it quite a bit, in fact in high school I was playing cards with a cocky boy who was not shuffling right.  I asked him if he wanted me to shuffle and he said girls can't shuffle, so I promptly grabbed the deck and wowed him with the shuffling skills you taught me! I also remember you told me one night while we were watching the news "Never wear pink eyeshadow, it makes you look dead."  To this day I have never even tried on pink eyeshadow.

Making apple butter with April.

Some of my other favorite memories about those weeks with Grandmommy and Grandaddy was the day that we made apple butter and canned it.  I had no idea how much work it was, but we really enjoyed doing it.  We also had a lot of fun going boating on the river.  They had really nice neighbors who would take us out on the weekends but during the week my grandaddy would attach this old knee board to the back of his boat and he would pull us on that.  It was a lot of fun and I was super proud of myself because I got to where I could stand up on it.   

I treasure those memories of my two summers with my grandparents. I feel so blessed I was able to spend that quality time with them.  I highlighted those two visits in this post, but I truely enjoyed every time I got to see my grandparents.  I mentioned how much they have all meant to me in my very first post but I didn't really get to share any specific memories.  There are so many fun memories I have of all of them. 

 

My Grandaddy M taught me how to shoot a bb gun and drive a boat.   He would let me sit on his lap and "drive" his old yellow truck around. He had the best sense of humor and had this great laugh that was like a silent chuckle, he didn't make any noise but his belly would  shake.  He also gave the best hugs, they were super tight and he wouldn't let you go until he was good and ready.  My Grandmommy M had a terrific smile and she was pretty funny when she wanted to be as well. She was always working hard and serving others. What stands out most to me about them though is that I always saw the love of Jesus in them. 

My Grandma Ricks and I were such good friends. I always have enjoyed being with her.  Whenever I went to visit her we would stay up late into the night talking about what was going on in my life.  She always took me seriously and never made me feel like a child. I think that was why I was so open and honest with her.  My Grandad Ricks was ornery but very funny.  He'd whip out a whitty remark in the most unexpected moments. One time we got cashew chicken from our favorite chinese place and we were reading our fortune cookie messages out loud and when we asked him what his said, he pretended to read it and said "Give all your money to Cathy".  We all cracked up laughing and my mom told him "Oh good, I was hoping you would!"    I remember he also had a special glass he would always drink out of, it was glass mug of sorts.  I don't see ones like it very often, but whenever I do it makes me smile and think of my wonderful grandfather. 

This post was pretty emotional for me to write because I only have one grandparent, my Grandma Ricks, still living.  It makes me really sad that Darin and my kids haven't ever gotten to meet the other three, but I know they would all have loved each other.   I think that's why its good to do things like this, write down your memories of the special people you love while can still remember them well.  That way even though they are gone, those memories can continue to be shared and these people can be more than just a "picture" to my kids.  I am very thankful that my Grandma Ricks is still around and has gotten to know my husband and kids.  She now goes by GG (Great Grandma) and that's great because the kids always learn to say that really fast. In fact both my kids have learned to say that before their other grandparents names.  I cherish the time we get to spend with her and I tell her that she has to live forever because I don't know what I would do without her.  She won't make me any promises but I think she'll be around for a long time.  She turns 88 this year and she still works because she enjoys it.  She's able to travel to see us at the holidays and other special occasions and you would never guess she's in her late 80's. 

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When I was younger and would hear people talk about losing a grandparent I would think oh well, it's probably easier to lose them because they're older.  Well I have learned 3 times that it doesn't matter how old they are, it's not easy to say goodbye to someone who is so precious to you.  I still  miss the ones that have passed away terribly but I'm thankful that I will see them again one day and I'm grateful that I was able to have them in my life for a long time. They have each been a precious gift in my life and I am so blessed to have known them.
 


GG, I know you are a faithful reader, so I hope you enjoyed this post.  I love you so very much.  Thanks for all the great memories, I look forward to making many more together! :) 
  

#7 Being the Mother of Young Children

 I find people are very divided on the whether or not they enjoyed having young children.  (When I say young I mean babies to preschool age.)  Some people say they are so glad that stage of life is over, that their kids are more independent now and they would not want to go back that or have any more babies.  Other people seem to have really enjoyed that time of parenting and long for those days when their kids were cute and cuddly and as many have said the problems, while at times frustrating, were much easier to solve than teenage problems.  I definitely fall into the category of LOVING this baby/preschool stage.  Now I will admit this is the only stage of parenthood I have experienced as my oldest is not yet 4.  However even though I have nothing to else to compare it to I am really enjoying and savoring this time in mine and my children's lives.

So why do I love having young children so much?  Here are my top 5 reasons.

#1 I love all the hugs and kisses you get as well as the unconditional love.  If you know me well you know I am a very affectionate person.  My kids get hugs and kisses all the time, and they love it. They also love to give me hugs and kisses.  (Except Emmy, she's been ornery this past week and refuses to give mommy kisses, whenever I ask her for one she turns her head and says "Noo!"  She will however give her brother and dad kisses! Little stinker.)  Landon is very free with his hugs and kisses and never seems to run out of them.   I love that he will come up to me and give me a great big hug and kiss and say "I love you!" Then we get into his favorite I love you arguments where when I say back to him, "And I love you!"  He responds, "No, I love you!" and much to his delight we go back and forth until I tell him that we can love each other.  Sometimes he even beats me to the punch.  I've thrown him for a little bit of a loop lately though by saying I love you too or I love you more. Even though Emmy has been stingy with her kisses lately she is not stingy with her hugs or excitement to see me.  She lets me know I'm still her favorite lady around and I'm so glad that I am.

#2 Hearing "Mommy, you're my best friend".  It is so great to be greeted by a little who boy who runs up and gives me a great big hug and says "Mommy, you're my best friend!"  I savor those moments.  I seriously want to get this recorded so I can play it for him one day when I make him mad as a teenager and he tells me how awful I am.  Or even just play it for myself so I can remember how much he use to like me.  I remember a friend saying to me one day how much she loved the toddler/ preschool stage because your kids are your little buddies, they go everywhere with you and you just really get to enjoy a lot of special time with them.  I've thought a lot about this since she said that to me a couple of years ago and I have found myself very much enjoying having two little buddies that I get to spend my days with.  Yes I do need a break from time to time, but I do really enjoy my children and our outings (you know as long as they don't have a screaming fit at some point!)  I have become pretty good (not perfect) at doing my grocery shopping with both of them accompanying me.  (I do really enjoy when I get to go by myself though, but most of the time I take them with me.)  We go to story time at the library together.    I love our trips to the park and pool.  Some of my friends tell me they would go crazy being a stay at home mom, and I admit its not for everyone, but I really love that I get to spend so much time with my kids. I love that I get to get my kids up in the morning and we can usually do whatever we want to do.  I enjoy getting to snuggle with them, read them books and teach them new things throughout the day.  I remember looking at Landon when he was about 6-8 weeks old and I thought I can't imagine having to leave you for a good portion of the day.  I thought "I would miss so much."  I know some moms have to do it and I admire them for providing in that way for their families.  However, I'm really thankful that as of right now I do not have to do that and I can just enjoy my kids every day. I admit I do have moments that they are driving me crazy, but I've found that usually its nothing that an hour or so of PBS kids and a good afternoon nap can't fix!

#3 Having a lot of control over my kids lives.  I know this makes me sound like a control freak mom. I'm really not, and I do realize that I cannot control everything that happens in my kids lives.  What I mean by this is that this is the time in my kids lives that I will have the most control over how they spend their time and with whom they spend their time.  All to soon I will have to give a good portion of their days over to the public school system and a teacher will dictate how they spend 6-7 hours of their days.  We will have to work around school calendars for vacations and fun family outings.  Our evenings will be filled with homework and possibly sporting activities.  Also now I pretty much get to pick their  friends. I schedule their play dates and if I don't think a child is a good influence or maybe I think they're mean to my children I can make sure they don't spend a lot of time with those children.  Once they start school that choice will become theirs.  Yes I can give them advice and encourage them to avoid certain people who are not the best influences, however it will ultimately be their choice to chose who they spend time with during school.  Also. I can't just keep them away from mean kids. Landon as of now has the sweetest, outgoing nature.  He makes friends easily wherever he goes and no kid is ever a stranger to him.  He will play with anybody.  I love that about him, the innocence and accepting attitude he has.  However when I watch him making new friends at the park or wherever we might be that day I can't help but think someone is going to crush his sweet spirit one day by rejecting him.  That thought breaks my heart and I pray that he'll be able to bounce back from the rejection and not let it permanently wound or change his personality.  I also pray that he won't be the bully who crushes another kid's spirit.  It makes me so sad to think about all those things, so that why I like the amount of control I have over their lives.

 

#4  Problems are (fairly) simple to solve.  This kind of goes hand in hand with #3 but I'll give it a brief explanation.  With young children I've found that most of the problems I've encountered so far are pretty small on the grand scale of life.  They are hungry you feed them, they are whiny, you ignore them or find something to distract them, they are wet, you change their diaper.  They get hurt its usually physical, so you kiss it, put a bandaid on it or worse case take them to the doctor.  Yes there are some challenging phases but I feel the worst issues are yet to come.  I haven't had to listen to my child cry because some boy or girl has broken their heart.  I don't have to worry about what their doing when their out with their friends.   I get to tuck them into bed every night and I know they are home safe and sound until we get up in the morning.  No worrying where they are at, what they are doing or who they are with!  I will make this disclaimer though that the potty training problem was not easy.  I think we are pretty much now over that hurdle, but it has been a long 9 months and by far my least favorite part of parenting thus far. 

#5 All the cute things they say!  I told Landon the other day, "You are so smart Landon. Do you know you're smart? " He responded, "Yup, K-mart smart!"   My kids literally crack me up with all the funny things they say and do.  Landon obviously has more as Emmy is just learning to talk, but she definitely has her cute things she says as well. In fact pretty much everything she says is cute because she is just so stinkin cute!  Here's a list of some of my favorites:

• Landon was 13 months old standing up by our end table banging on some Bibles sitting there and  "preaching" in gibberish for about 20 minutes.  
• When we use to sing the BIBLE with Landon when he was little he would sing it, "I stand alone on the word of ME!"
• Landon has  photographic memory (like me) and at two years old we drive by a Dunkin Donuts and he says "I want Dunkin Coffee". We do not go into Dunkin Donuts ever, but he had remembered the commercial and recognized the sign.
• Landon use to say "Die, Die" instead of "Bye, Bye".  It was slightly disturbing to hear a one year old say that to you while smiling and waving....
• Whenever we sing the BIBLE during our family worship time Emmy yells "Bible" at the end. It was one of her first words, so precious! 
• When we drive down a hill or a big curve both kids yell "Wee" from the back seat.
• The other day Landon told me he wanted Daddy to come home so he could play a game with him.  I asked him what game he wanted to play, he responded, "step on him."   When Darin comes home he lays on the floor and plays with the kids and then they will usually end up jumping and climbing on him.  I didn't know until he told me that, that it was a game with the official name "step on dad".
• I love it when they start to learn to express themselves, like the other day we were at one of our summer outdoor church services and Emmy saw a slide on the other side of the park.  She pointed and said "slide" and I said yes, that's a slide.  She was trying  to tell me she wanted to leave the service and go to the slide, so she pointed again and said very determinedly , "slide, go, go slide".  So cute! 
• When both of the kids give kisses they say "munch" as they give the kiss.  So we say give me a munch! 
• Recently Landon was sitting on the floor doing a puzzle and he looked up and said," Mom, I'm trying to do some serious puzzles over here!" 

• Emmy loves to pretend to talk on the phone and will say Hi, then some gibberish and then bye.  Also at about 1 year old she learned to anticpate when I was about to say bye to whoever I was talking to, maybe my voice tone changed and every time right before I was about to say it she would say "Bye".

 
• One of my all time favorites is from Mother's Day this year. Landon told me he wanted me to make him breakfast in bed and that he wanted honeyed french toast with blueberries, sassafras tea, and beautiful red roses.  That was from a Barenstein Bears book we read, but he had the concept a little confused and when I told him that he was suppose to make me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day he said "No mom, you make me breakfast in bed." 

I feel so blessed to be in this stage of life.  I have always loved young children but I did use to wonder how I would handle dealing with them 24 hours a day every single day.  I worried it would get boring or that I wouldn't like them after they got out of the cute baby stage. I'm glad to report that I do like my kids very much and it is not boring!  They definitely keep things lively around here.  As much as I love this stage and am savoring these sweet times, I pray that I will be one of those few parents I meet who  really enjoy every stage of their kids lives.  However to my children I want to say whether or not I enjoy every stage as much as I enjoy this one, I know for certain that I will never love you, my sweet children any less.  I've come to love you more and more every single day of your lives. You bring an incredible amount of joy and laughter to our lives.  Most importantly you have taught me so much about the relationship we have with God.  Being a parent has helped me have a better understanding of how God sees us and how He feels about us.   You are without a doubt some of the good and perfect gifts He has given me and I thank God every day for each of you! 
 


 

#8 Getaways with Darin

Let me preface my post by saying that I love my children dearly, they are delightful little people, most of the time.  However as any of you who have ever had children know, they are also really needy little people who on certain more "challenging" days can use up every ounce of energy and strength you have.  Some days I find myself at bedtime feeling like a mini tornado (or two) went through my house not only because there is stuff everywhere, but also because I feel like I've been knocked off my feet and twisted around and and around and all I want to do is lie still on my bed  in absolute silence or you know watch some sort of mindless television without any one asking me for something!  You know what I mean?  On those days I unfortunately have nothing left to give to my wonderful husband because well the kids took it all.  That is why I have found it so important to have getaways with my husband.  I love getting away with just he and I, whether its for a date night or a fun trip somewhere.  The trips are obviously the most fun, but the date nights help tide us over in between trips as circumstances (and finances) don't always allow us to go on trips.  Also my husband is a pastor, which is a job he loves, but can be very stressful emotionally and its nice to go away, relax and just have "us" time.

Our first getaway together was our honeymoon to a Couples resort called, Swept Away outside of Kingston, Jamaica.  Deciding to splurge and go on a really nice honeymoon was definitely one of the best decisions we have ever made in our marriage.  A honeymoon was a once in a lifetime trip and we felt it deserved a nice trip. We had no idea what life was going to throw at us or when we would be able to go on a trip like that again, so we just did it and it was amazing! Now we had put money aside for this trip so we were fortunate to be able to do it, I don't know that I would recommend splurging if you are going to have to put it on a credit card and be paying it off for years and years to come.

Swept Away is an all inclusive resort for couples only and we enjoyed a week I will never forget. It was an all inclusive resort with 3 pools, 5 restaurants, a hot tub, a huge beach area, and lots of fun activities that were included for free, like sailing, paddle boating, water skiing and snorkeling.    The food was great, and you could eat as much as you wanted, anytime you wanted.  Also one of our favorite "little things" about the resort was that they had these beach chairs with rubber cushions that you could use as a flotation device in the ocean or the swimming pools.  I still remember lounging out in the ocean with my new husband, soaking up some sun as we enjoyed our wedded bliss!  It didn't hurt that we knew it was snowy and freezing back home.  They also had dancing and various other entertainment in the evening that was fun, but some nights we just went back to our room and hung out, we watched movies, played dominoes, and just enjoyed being together.  I remember thinking a few times, I can't believe I'm on a trip by myself with a guy and its okay!  I know I was innocent, but that's okay, I'm thankful for that innocence.

Our next big vacation we went on was a trip to Ft. Myers with my side of the family.   It was a really relaxing fun week.  It was pre-children for all of us so it was probably the last totally "relaxing" family vacation we'll  have for a long time.  I was actually pregnant with Landon on that trip but it was pretty early.  On that trip Darin and I decided it would be fun to rent a scooter and go explore.  It was fun, for him. I unfortunately did not respond well to the heat, fumes and bumpiness and I began to feel pretty unwell (I'm sure the pregnancy factor didn't help), but I tried to stick it out for as long as I could,  I think he finished the ride by himself though. 

The next two years were filled with adjusting to parenthood and most of our vacations time was spent traveling to show off our new son to our extended family members.  However, when he was about 15 months old we decided it was time for mommy and daddy only getaway.  I remember we were watching the superbowl and they were advertising a huge sale on apple vacations and it got us starting to think and look at options for a trip. However, it got pushed aside with the "practical" thoughts of should we spend money on this and who would take care of Landon?  Then a few weeks later we rented a movie called Couples Retreat where these couples go on a getaway to this island paradise to work on their marriages.  Seeing the island paradise pushed us over the edge so we got online found a really good deal (less than we would have spent on a beach vacation somewhere in the states).  It included airfare and the resort was all inclusive.  So we called my parents, asked them to watch Landon and then we booked our trip!

We went to Cozumel, Mexico and had a wonderful time.  It was great to reconnect and relax at a beautiful beach resort after a draining (but rewarding) 15 months of adjusting to parenthood and wading through some difficult times in our ministry.  This resort was not quite as big as the resort we went to in Jamaica, but it was nice and the price was great.  My favorite thing we did during that trip was snorkeling out in the reef area. That was without a doubt my favorite one day adventure Darin and I have ever had together. It was beautiful, the water was so clear, the fish and coral were so beautiful, it was incredible to be so close to nature. It did end up being an extra excursion in our trip but it was well worth it. If you ever have the chance to go to Cozumel you have to go snorkeling, it is amazing.  I still vividly remember being out in the middle of the ocean with Darin, floating facedown in the water, holding hands and admiring God's beautiful creation swimming all around us.  It was incredible.  I hope we get to go back one day.   

Besides loving the beach, another interest that Darin and I share is history. We are both big history nerds. We love learning about history and exploring historical places.  So in August of 2010 we had the opportunity to take another getaway (just a short 5 months after our trip to Cozumel, we were definitely splurging that year).  This time we only had a few days so we decided to go to Washington DC.  I had never been there before, but I had always wanted to go. Darin had been but he was excited to take me and explore our nations capital together.  We made it a full blown history trip and even got an audio book about the founding fathers to listen to on our drive.

We had the best time. After our honeymoon, this was my second favorite getaway with the love of my life. We had two days to explore so we bought a trolley pass which allows you to go to all the hot spots and get on and off as you like. We toured the capital first, then the library of congress, saw the Jefferson and Lincoln monuments, we could see the White House from afar there but we didn't plan out trip enough in advance to get to take a tour, something I would love to do if we ever get to go back. Then we went out to Arlington, saw the eternal flame at Kennedy's grave (I was kind of underwhelmed by that, not sure what I was expecting, but I guess that wasn't it.) We also saw the changing of the guards at the tomb of the unknown soldier (one of Darin's favorite things), and we walked through the Robert E. Lee's house.  It was all pretty interesting. .

The next day we went to see George Washington's home, Mt. Vernon, which was my favorite part of the trip.  I love seeing old homes and the tour guide told some really interesting stories about the Washingtons.  Plus I was a little bit in awe of being in the same place where Washington had lived. I know he had his flaws and was merely a human being but he was such an extraordinary man who was an integral part of the start of this "great democratic experiment".  They also have an amazing museum where I learned so much about his life.  Plus I really like the personal side of history, its good to learn about battles, conventions, foundational documents, etc, but I like to learn about what the people were like, what their family life looked like and all those kinds of things.

D's shirt says "I'm really excited to be here."

After we spent the morning at Mt. Vernon we headed back to DC to visit a few museums including the national archives. It was pretty cool to see all those famous documents up close but I admit I was a little underwhelmed there as well.  Next we headed to the museum of natural history and we got to look at a really cool jewel exhibit.  Then we got dinner downtown and headed back to our hotel, totally exhausted but in the best way possible.  It was a great trip, probably a little too short to really be able to see everything, but we had a great time.  We got to see and learn so much on that trip and it was cool because since we both enjoy history, it gave us a lot to talk about. I love that my best friend shares my passion for history. We are looking forward to some more similar adventures one day.

This past year we've also had two adventures (we take a year off after having a baby so I guess we feel we have to make it up the following year by having two adventures.)  We went back to Ft. Myers, but this time with our kids and Darin's parents.  It was a really fun week.  It wasn't just a getaway with the two of us but thanks to having the grandparents around we did get plenty of alone time and we got to watch our kids enjoy the beach and (mostly) the pool.


Our second trip was just a few weeks ago, we got to go on an overnight to Niagara Falls while my wonderful in-laws watched the kids.  Darin had never been to the Canadian side so we decided to stay over there and it was wonderful getting to enjoy God's amazing creation with my favorite person.  Plus it was really nice to finally getaway just  the two of us, I hadn't been away from Emmy since she was born, so we were due an overnight alone.  We did the classic touristy things, Journey Behind the Falls, the movie Niagara in the making and Maid of the Midst.  We also enjoyed a really nice dinner at a restaurant overlooking the falls. On the way home we stopped in Buffalo and had dinner at the anchor bar which is the place that made buffalo wings famous.  They were really good, and it was a nice end to our little getaway.

Example of why getaways are essential!

I've loved all our getaways and I'm looking forward to hopefully having many more with my best friend.  We've discovered that it is something that is much needed for us to do every once in awhile. We do love our children dearly, but I believe an essential part of helping your children have a good home environment is having a strong healthy marriage, so its important that we spend time together just the two of us.  It's relaxing, fun and I do believe it makes us better parents.

Darin, I love you and I'm so glad we truly enjoy spending time together.  You are the best husband and father to our children I could have ever hoped to have. Thank you for making our relationship a priority and taking the time to invest in it.  Where should we go next???    
   

  

#9 The Best Small Group Ever!

When Darin and I first got married we didn't have any friends that lived close to us who were in a similar place in life.  We had some wonderful friends at our new church but the ones we knew well were at a different stage in life, and while we did love being with them, we longed for some friends who were going through some of the same things we were going through. In the Fall of 2007 Darin and I decided it was time for us to start our own small group Bible study. We had been in the Lang's small group for the past 6 months, but our church was growing and we needed more groups so Darin volunteered to lead a new group.  We had a few families in mind to ask, and we talked to Jeff and he gave us some more names of new young married couples that had recently started attending the church.  I remember before we even asked these people to be in our group we started praying. We prayed that God would bless this group, we wanted people to not only be committed to attending the group but to develop deep life long friendships with one another that would help each of us grow closer to Christ.

We had the first meeting of our small group at our house in  January of 2008.  At that time there were four couples and one person who was married but her husband didn't attend with her.   We started with myself and Darin, Burt and Janine, Jack and Tammy, Darren and Lauren and Ashlee.  Four out of the five couples had been married less than three years I believe and actually I know three of our couples had been married less than a year. So that made Jack and Tammy our wise guides in the marriage side of things, I think they had been married for at least 15 years at that point. Boy did we need them, I know they got some good laughs at watching us newly weds talk about our little "tiffs" as we tried to figure out this thing called marriage.  They were always encouraging and I personally learned a lot from just watching the two of them.  I remember telling Darin one night, Jack and Tammy don't bicker in front of the group like the rest of us couples do, they're always really respectful towards each other. It was a good principle to learn, don't insult your spouse, especially in front of other people, it makes the insult hurt much worse.

I remember our first meeting Darin went over the small group covenant and we all laugh now because at the time we all felt like we were signing our lives over (well at least our Wednesday nights) because Darin made it sound like you were not allowed to miss group unless you had an extreme emergency.  Lauren and Darren have told me since then how when they got in the car that night Lauren told Darren (her husband, not mine) she didn't don't really know if she could commit to the group because it seemed intense. I think later we clarified to everyone that basically Darin was just wanting people to take the group seriously and make being a part of it a priority in your schedule, but it was okay to miss if you needed to.

I think it was good though that he was so intentional about the covenant and making a real commitment to the group because one of the things that made our group so great was that people were committed to being there.  One of the other items the covenant talked about was being open and honest with the group and I remember at our second meeting Ashlee told us that she was taking the covenant seriously and she went on to share about some difficult things that were happening in her life and how that was affecting her.  I know it was hard for her to share but I think she set the tone for the group by being willing to pour her heart out.  After that people started connecting and deep friendships began to be built.

Wendy and her son Jeremy.

In April of 2008 we had two more families join our group as a part of a church wide Faith in Action study we were doing.  Our new members were Jon, Amy and Wendy.  We were a little nervous about adding new people at first because we had all clicked so well and were becoming such good friends, we didn't want our new members to feel left out.  However it worked out great. They fit in wonderfully and made our group even better.

4am friends and Easter Egg hunting friends!

Our group went on for about a year and a half.  It was a really special time in our life, almost every Wednesday night we were able to get together with these wonderful friends, study the Bible, pray, encourage each other and experience life together.  I remember one night Darin talked about how he wanted us to be "4 am friends."  What he meant was that he wanted us to be such good friends that when we had a need of any kind, even if it was in the middle of the night that we would be able to call each other and know that our friends would be there for us. We did in fact become "4 am friends", we've actually gotten several calls over the last fours years from different families in our group who needed something in the middle of the night.  Darren and Lauren have called us a couple of times because one of them was really ill and needed to go to the hospital so they needed to drop their son off at our house.  (Only one of those was the middle of the night though.)    We also got a call from Jon and Amy at 1 or 2 am telling us their house was on fire and they were watching it go up in flames.  Darin immediately went over to be with them during that difficult time and we were able to get in touch with many of the other families that had been in group with us to let them know what was going on and to pray for Jon and Amy.   I know without a doubt in my mind that any of them would be there for us as well if we needed them.  That is one of the things that makes living so far away from our families easier, because we know we have friends who are there for us when we need them.

Since the group ended most of us have stayed close and continued to grow our friendships.  We've experienced some significant life changes together.  When we started only 3 of the 7 families represented had children now three more families have two children (one of them is still on the way, but he definitely counts!)  I said before that Darin and I longed for friends that were in a similar stage and we got it! \We've gotten to experience being newly weds and then new parents with the Sivons and Penroses.  Its been great to walk that journey together.   We use to get to go out to dinner and have game nights together, now we go to kids birthday parties and play dates at the park.  The summer right after Janine and Lauren had their babies, Landon was about a year and half and the 6 of us would meet at the park at least once a week with our strollers to get some exercise but mostly just to talk to someone who gets what its like to be a new mother and is in the trenches of that stage with you.  We say it was better than therapy because we would always feel better after our walks and it didn't cost us anything!

I love these friends and I love how our families have grown into one big extended family.  Our kids all love each other and have good relationships with the adults in our group.  At Landon's dedication Darin said he was so thankful to have friends like these in our lives.  I remember he said it can be really hard being away from our extended biological family and not getting to see them very much but I'm so glad Landon will have an Uncle Jon, Aunt Amy, Uncle Darren, Aunt Lauren, Uncle Burt, Aunt Janine, etc.  Even if he doesn't call them that it doesn't matter about the title, what matters is that our kids have people in our lives that they get to see on a regular basis that care about them and are investing in them.  I don't say that to take anything away from our biological family, we love them, miss them and very much wish our kids could be with them more, but since they can't right now, its nice to have local people in their lives who have become very special to us and our kids.

I love that Emmy reaches for Jon and Amy whenever she sees them.  I love that Landon will ask me randomly in the middle of the day where Mister Darren and Ms. Lauren are and then gets upset because they are at work and can't come play with him.  I also think its great how he runs up to Darren whenever he sees him and starts starts giggling in anticipation because he knows Darren is going to throw him in the air.  It cracks me up how when we asked Landon what Darren and Lauren's dog's name was, he responded, "Ruby, sit down!" (If that's not funny to you, its because you've never been around Ruby.)  I also love that when I show up at the nursery door at church to get Emmy, Carter always runs up excited to see me and says "Hey Ms. Deborah!" then gives me a big hug.  It makes my day when I go over to drop something off at Janine's house and Sophie has to show me all her princess dolls and tell me their names.

Another aspect of our friendship that has been cool to watch is how our kids have bonded.  Landon loves all our friend's kids and gets so excited to see them.   Last week we had dinner with Jon and Amy and he couldn't wait to get there because he wanted to tell "Juya" and "Alson" all about his day and of course play car smash on "Juya's" i pod. He also will wake up from his nap or just come into my room in the mornings and say I want to go play with Carter and "Foofie" (that's what he use to call Sophie). 

The little girls have also been so much fun to watch, we call them "the girlfriends".  Sophie, Emmy and Aubrey are each a year a part in that order and it's been neat to watch their reaction when they get to be around the "little baby".  Sophie was always so interested in Emmy and now Emmy is fascinated by Aubrey.  Its cool to see how they have that nurturing instinct and are just so drawn to the babies from a very young age.  The boys are a little interested in the babies but its usually very brief and then they are on to something else, while the girls will just sit there forever and admire the baby.


I'm so thankful for these friends and the relationships we've been able to build over the years.  They've each brought something so special to my life.  Lauren has a wonderful ability to listen and empathize. She's been a great person for me to pour my heart out to because we just get each other and there's no judgement, you can just be totally real and honest.  Amy is so much fun to be around and a great example of wonderful mom.  I learn so much from her and I'm so thankful that she loves my me and my kids so much. She has been a wonderful encourager to me.  Janine is one of the most compassionate people I've ever known.  I always see her striving to do her best, both with being a mom and in her job as a teacher.  She inspires me how she desires to make a difference in her students lives, even though sometimes it can seem like its impossible.  Wendy is sweet and compassionate and just a really strong person, in fact in these past 6 months her strength of character has amazed me. She's also the kind of friend who would do anything for you, even help you with your kids when you get caught in a torrential down pour at a Captains game because your son really wanted to jump in the bounce house! 

I don't get to see Tammy and Ashlee very much anymore but they still hold very special places in my heart. Tammy was the "Pollyanna" of our group.  I mean that in the best way possible, she always tried to have a positive outlook on life and encouraged us to make the best of things.  She was the ultimate encourager in our group, which was a helpful when many of us were falling into the glass half empty type of mentality.   Ashlee was always able to speak her mind but did it in a very respectful way.  There was no pretense with Ashlee and I liked that because you always knew where you stood with her.  There were a few times before Ashlee moved away that she, Lauren and I got to have dinner together.  I always really enjoyed our special talks and I really miss those times.  I know the men are all very special to Darin as well, and I'm thankful that he has friends who have stood by him during some very difficult times and are also willing to challenge him in love when he needs it. 
   
I was listening to a sermon with Darin recently and the speaker was speaking on how to lead your family through a ministry crisis.  One of the things he and his wife talked about was the importance of having good friends who are apart of your ministry.  I immediately thought of our small group friends.  (Now I will say we are blessed to have many wonderful friends at church, even outside our small group that are also like family to us but since this is a post about the small group I'm focusing on these specific families. )  As I said before they have stood by us in very difficult times and helped us celebrate some wonderful times.  They've given us strength and encouragment at just the right time.  God has used them in some amazing ways in our lives and we are forever blessed to have them as a part of our extended family.  Looking back it is so cool to see how God answered our prayers for this group of people, not only did he answer them, He went above and beyond all we could ask or imagine for these friendships and we are eternally grateful that He did. I love them all so much and am so thankful for the impact they've had on my life, Darin's life and the lives of our kids.  If any of you small group people are reading this I just want to say thank you for your friendship and allowing us the privilege of being in your lives.  We are truly blessed!

PS: Besides just doing life together, we've also had the priveldge of being a part of many baptisms in our small group family (two pictures are above) and I just wanted to share the rest of those pictures as well!